


Down the Rabbit Hole

by Shinku130



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Undertale Fusion, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Death, Depression, F/M, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Minor Character Death, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Post-Undertale Pacifist Route
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-16
Updated: 2018-06-27
Packaged: 2018-11-01 10:19:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10919820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shinku130/pseuds/Shinku130
Summary: I fell... Down... Down... A deep hole of despair... Into worlds I wanted no part of... Given a role I did not want... After all how can a monster protect anything... I have killed to protect.... I have given up everything... But I have been deserted.... Abandoned.... Now I must do what was willed of me...





	1. The End...

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first Undertale fanfic. Warning this is kind of a dark fic. Viewer Discretion is advised when reading. Warning for chapter will be placed at the beginning.

  It's strange... to see your life flash in front of your eyes... But that is nothing to me... After all I have nearly died so many times... I open my eyes and stare blankly at the short stout skeleton that is holding my wrist trying to keep me from falling into this empty pit.

        *Sister! Sans! Hold on! Help is coming!*

        I looked past him to see the familiar small child that I had once called a sibling... The same one that couldn't understand why I left... Why I sacrificed so much only to have leave me... And then 10 years later appear once again with a brand new family. It was then that I realized that I was replaceable... I was nothing, but a pawn to be moved and used. It was strange that just as I thought I had made friends and even found someone to love me... scars and all... abandoned me when someone better entered their lives... I could feel my soul become tired as did my body.

        I took one more look at my sibling, the same shaggy hair, their brown eyes stared at me with fear... they were wearing their normal striped blue shirt. I blinked before turning my gaze to the skeleton that was sweating struggling to keep a grip on the edge while the other hand gripped my wrist... He was wearing his normal blue parka with white fur, shorts and instead of his normal pink slippers he was wearing his blue tennis shoes...

        "Kid! I don't think I could hold on much longer!" He yelled to my sibling, his voice scratchy as if he had been yelling for a while.

        As soon as he had said that I made my decision... I quickly thrusted my right hand to latch onto his wrist which startled him. In that moment that he had let his guard down was enough time for me to force his hand away from my wrist.... And I let go of him completely... And so I fell with the last thing I would ever see would be my sibling... and Sans.... As soon as my body hit the blackness my soul emerged from my body... A cartoon like heart that was dark once completely dark blue, but was now so destroyed that it barley looked like a heart of purity.... But one covered with so many scars of sin that it might as well just have been black... I watched the heart shatter along with my body and the only thing that I could remember hearing was people screaming my name....

        "SIA!!"

        Then it was silent....


	2. Another Place...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I awoken in strange place... When all I wanted to do was never awaken again...

  It was over finally my pain was gone... At least I thought it was until I opened my eyes, I was surrounded by nothing, but darkness I suppose that is all you see when you are in the void. At least that is what Sans called the place when we spoke... Before everything went to shit, I shake my head not wanting to delve into memories that I wish I could erase. I simply began to walk forward through the darkness as I walked I could make out a disembodied voice,

        * Save them... Save them... Save the worlds... Monster of Death...*

        I stopped as it spoke, frown at the title for it was one given to me long ago. Before I knew what was happening I could feel myself suddenly falling once again. It was then that I hit something hard and my world went black once again... I opened my eyes to see the sun in my face causing me to squint as I sat up I could feel the pain resonate throughout my body. I quickly raised my hand up to my face to ensure that were still intact, thankfully they were. I quickly began to scan my surrounding it appeared to that I was laying inside a patch of yellow colored flowers. I let out an aggravated sigh, as soon as I realized that I was still alive against all odds.

        I managed to get to my feet shakily, it was then that felt something heavy hanging onto my neck, I looked down not only my silver dog tags but my dark blue scarf barely hung around my neck. The scarf was one that Papyrus had made me had purple flames at the edges of the scarf, I gripped it before wrapping back around my neck while making sure it covered my nose and mouth, I reached behind me, pulling up my black hood over my head to help conceal the rest of my face. As looked around for an exit from the cave I noticed a small child that was standing in the entrance. At first glance, I thought she was my sibling, however, as they turned around I could see red eyes, along with rosy cheeks.

        They appeared to be wearing a green and yellow striped shirt, the child smiled brightly before quickly bounding over to me with a smile it was then they spoke with a happy tone, 

        "Oh! You are awake! How did you fall in?"

        I simply stayed silent as I simply shrugged my shoulders which caused the child to frown before they asked me,

        "What's your name?"

        I let out a quiet sigh before speaking," Sia..."

        This seemed to surprise them,

        "Sia... That name is familiar to me... Oh I am Chara by the way. It's nice to meet you!"

        I simply nodded my head before gently taking their hand into my gloved covered hand, giving it a small shake before releasing their hand.

        "Let's work together in getting out of here." Chara spoke with determination coating their voice.

        I looked down slightly into their chest and sure enough I could see their soul... It was red... Just like my siblings... I quickly nodded my head before walking forward into the next room. Upon entering we were greeted by the cat like creature known as a Temmie... However... I knew something was off when it spoke,

        *hOI! im tEM... tEM da tEMMIE!! Mmm... u r new to da uNDERGROUND arent ya? awawawa! u must be so confuse! tEM wil teach u how things work here!! are u readY?? tEM is ready!! yaYA lETS gO!!*

        It was then that I could fell the familiar sensations of magic being used to draw out Chara and mine's soul... I could have stopped it, but I felt that I should allow it in case something happened to Chara... No matter my sins... I would happily take their pain as my own... After all I am in pain everyday.... I quickly shook my head before noticing that the Temmie was staring at my soul with a confused expression before they quickly went into an explanation of what Chara was seeing.

        *see dat heart? dat is yur sOUL... da veri culmination of ur being!!! ur sOUL is week at da beginning but can be strong if u have a lot of LV. Wats LV us ask? hOI, LOVE, of course!! u want some LOVE, don't u? dont worry... I will share some with u!!! down here, LOVE is shared with... little wite... "temmie flakes"!! u readY? move around!!! get as many as u can!!!*

        Just then some pellets began to shoot toward our souls... I however could feel the malicious intent and quickly placed my decrepit soul in front of Chara's. Once the pellets hit, the temmie's face became deformed, but it quickly changed to fear when it noticed that it barely did anything to me... I could feel the magic begin to swell in my right eye... The temmie must have noticed it for it quickly stopped what it was doing and began to sweat. Thanks to my hood Chara couldn't see my right eye begin to disintegrate leaving only the flaming blue magic burning.

        Just before I could unleash anything upon it a flame appeared and shot the Temmie away, much to my surprise the monster that had shot the temmie away was Asgore. I remembered him from the times I would visit Frisk, but for some reason he seemed different the his soul was presenting reminded me of Toriel... Not the Asgore I knew. The gentle goat monster was telling us that he was the care taker of the ruins before he began to lead us to his home. I gritted my teeth quietly in anger... and began to ask questions that I knew I was most likely never going to get answered....

        Was I alive? Why... Why was I? I had wanted to die... I was tired of being replaced... used.... I could my soul throb at the reminder of how my life went to shit.... But I guess that was my own doing... After all I believe I was told that I would be fated to die alone... 

        I was snapped out of my thought when Chara gently tugged on my long jean trench coat.... Thankfully my right eye had returned to it's normal human version. Once Chara got my attention they spoke,

        "Come on I don't want you to get left behind!"

        I nodded my head before following the child and Asgore to his house all the while feeling the stare of the evil monster with no soul. To bad that the monster didn't understand that the true monster in these ruins...

 

        WAS ME


	3. Nightmares and Tears...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Nightmares Brought me back to the dark place... I never wanted to visit again...

   We had eventually arrived at Asgore's home, the homey feeling reminded me of Toriel's home.... I clenched my fist trying not to think about how much different then it was my own home. After Asgore led us to a large room explaining to us that we could share the room, Chara grinned brightly before running into the room. I nodded my thanks to Asgore before entering the room, I walked over to an empty spot, sitting down tiredly. It was then that I noticed that Chara was curled up in bed already dead to the world. I looked down at the floor before slowly closing my eyes, I prayed that I would not dream, but sadly nobody answered those prayers...

                                                                                                                (Memory)

        "I WILL KILL YOU!! I WILL RIP YOU ALL APART!!" 

        I could hear myself screaming as I was lay bleeding from the cuts from the whips... I was bound in chains... I could remember how they cut into my wrists and ankles.... It was then that I felt it... The power that would change me into the monster I would become... The screams echoed... I could feel hands on my shoulders shaking me..

                                                                                                        (Memory End)

        My eyes jolted, my body began to move on its own accord, I could my flesh being ripped apart so that my magic could take it's place. I then grabbed the person that was shaking me awake by the throat and pinned them to the wall. My right eye was glowing a dark blue while my left was glowing a dark purple, however, it was then that I felt a small hand touch my wrist. I then instantly focused on who I was holding, to my horror it was Chara... I quickly dispelled my magic, feeling my flesh return was just as painful as it disappearing, however, I felt it was repentance for what I had just done I quickly put them onto the ground and backed away from them quickly. Chara coughed their hand upon their throat, I could feel those the hate of myself once again.

        I quickly put away my self loathing and went to Chara, gripping their chin forcing them to look up at the ceiling as I examined their throat. I could see the bruising from my hand begin to appear on their pale skin... another grievance against me... I quickly released their chin making sure not to look them in the eyes. I don't think my weak soul could handle another child that fears me for my disgusting weakness. I quickly reached into my pocket pulling out my last bit of monster candy and placed it into their hands before turning to leave the room. However, just as I reached for the door I felt two little arms wrap around my legs. I jumped in surprise before I glanced back at Chara, I could see tears streaming down their eyes I gently pulled them away from me before I turned and I knelt down. It was then that they wrapped their arms around me neck, I could feel them begin to cry harder as they began to speak through their tears,

        "I am sorry sister... I am sorry... I promise I won't leave you! I promise don't go to sleep again.."

        I frowned at what they were talking about before, but I had already caused enough damage so I simply hugged them. Soon their crying stopped, I gently picked them up, placing them on the bed before grabbing the blanket and pulled it over them. It was then that I heard them quietly ask,

        "Can you sing me a song sister... Like you used to..."

        I frowned before nodding my head, I reached up to pull down my scarf, but realized that it had already fallen down my face during my sleep. I let out a quiet sigh before I began to sing the only song that came to my mind...

(Five Finger Death Punch - Wrong Side of Heaven)

I spoke to God today and she said that she's ashamed

What have I become?

What have I done?

I spoke to the devil today and he swears he's not to blame

And I understood 'cause I feel the same

 

Arms wide open

I stand alone

I'm no hero and I'm not made of stone

Right or wrong

I can hardly tell

I'm on the wrong side of heaven and the righteous side of hell

The wrong side of heaven and the righteous side,

The righteous side of hell

 

I heard from God today and she sounded just like me

What have I done and who have I become?

I saw the devil today and he looked a lot like me

I looked away, I turned away

 

Arms wide open

I stand alone

I'm no hero and I'm not made of stone

Right or wrong

I can hardly tell

I'm on the wrong side of heaven and the righteous side of hell

The wrong side of heaven and the righteous side,

The righteous side of hell

 

I'm not defending

Downward descending

Falling further and further away

Getting closer every day

 

I'm getting closer every day

To the end, to the end, the end of the end

I'm getting closer every day

 

Arms wide open

I stand alone

I'm no hero and I'm not made of stone

Right or wrong

I can hardly tell

I'm on the wrong side of heaven and the righteous side of hell

The wrong side of heaven and the righteous side,

The righteous side of hell

 

        I looked at Chara, surprised that she had fallen asleep to that song, but I suppose she didn't know the true meaning behind the lyrics. What was most confusing was the fact that she had begged me not to fall asleep... It was not likely I was anyway... After all the one, I once called my dream catcher, no longer wanted me... I shook my head for I did not want to dwell within the dark memories that have weakened me greatly. Though how I wish I could change the past maybe I could have done things differently, but I suppose that is a foolish wish for there is no such thing as correct path.. I shall now live with the scars and my weak soul, I let out a small sigh as I stood up from the bed and made my way back to my previous position on the floor. As I sat down I allowed myself to remain diligent through out the hours until Chara woke once again.

        Chara noticed me as soon as her eyes opened, thankfully I had remembered to fix my scarf to cover my face and the hood shadowed the rest of my face. They smiled at me before quickly jumping out of the bed and bounding over to me only to give me hug before they spoke,

        "I feel much better. Come on sister! Let us ask dad if we can leave the ruins."

        They grabbed my hand proceeded to drag me from the room into the sitting room where Asgore was. I had a feeling that he wouldn't let us through easily... For now though I will let Chara walk the path they wish and I be their shadow as I was to Frisk... After all a Monster has no place in the light...


	4. The Dark Matter inside of my mind

Hello. I am here to apologize for disappointing you dear readers once again… unfortunately, I am having some issues with my writing… because of this I had a sort of a mental breakdown yesterday to the point I was in tears. To explain my brain and my creativity for new chapters are different. First it depends on what I am watching or doing at the time to get inspiration, however it seemed that no matter what I do nor wrote it seemed it was never good enough. Its also hard to write at work because where I work it doesn't have any positivity and its just too much drama… I can't afford to change to a new job because I need the money to help not only my family who I am currently staying with but my bills have to be paid. Its hard when I write on the computer and when I write on paper. Secondly I jump around alot from genre to genre. From games to anime… however whatever I seemed interested in nobody seemed interested nor cared on what I write… that hurts a lot especially when I don't have a lot of friends to begin with. I am sure some of you are reading this and thinking, ‘ Oh god here we. Go another whiny writer… ‘ I am not writing this to whine nor complain. Its to show that I am human and I am in a dark place right now… if you are reading this just to troll (or report me. (Fanfiction. Net)) then just save us time and don't bother posting a comment. I will ignore it. I just wanted to tell you all about my sadness and my depression and how my mind has been taken by the dark matter. To those who have read this to the end I thank you all for the support. As much as I hate to do this I am putting my writings on a kind of permanent hiatus. If you want me to write you something or have suggestion please feel free to message me. I am just not sure how long this will last… I am just in a dark place. Thanks again everyone for reading this.


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